all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
