my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
