She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
