Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
