She's JV to your varsity
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
