I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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