I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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