This girl is more easily done than said...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My vagina is officially offended.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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