Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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