I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize