Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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