and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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