dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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