you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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