OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
