also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
