Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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