Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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