is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
