I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
