just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
