i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
