So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
