it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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