Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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