Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
