My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize