just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
