I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
