dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
