well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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