How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
