we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
