You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My feet surprised me
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