I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
