Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
