thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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