If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
