Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize