thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
