I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
