Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
