im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
