So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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