my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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