The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
