I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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