I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize