she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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