oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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