He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
