Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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