can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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