i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
