oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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