I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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