garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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